Thursday, June 19, 2008

Does it get any better? Or just worse from here on out?

I took a walk to the grocery store today with the three kiddos. M actually walked next to me and the double stroller today - only because yesterday, after letting her walk half a block ahead for a block or two, I told her she actually need to walk with us... embarrassing as it may be for an 11-year-old to walk beside her mother pushing a double stroller... ;)

She was not really happy with me. How do I know? Well, she was full of sass and attitude about it. I was so dampening her style. She rolled her eyes, cocked her head to the side and let out one of those awful teenager sighs of disgust. For the past few weeks it's been nothing but attitude from her. Everything I ask her to do or tell her not to do is met with her exasperation or back talk or arguing...

Man is it annoying and frustrating. I just don't know how to make it end, and it's driving me insane. The more I reprimand her for it the more she continues. So obviously I'm not taking the right approach. I just can't stand the thought of her talking (or behaving) like that with some other adult.

She's really not a bad kid. In some ways much the opposite. I get many compliments from her teachers and others at school. She must not talk to them the way she does me. Not sure whether I should feel good about that or not ;)

I know that she feels we are unbelievably strict parents. She thinks she should be able to run around the neighborhood/city as she pleases. Yesterday we had an argument about her not being able to go to the city pool without an adult. Unfortunately the new neighbors let their daughter, who is the same age, go to and from the pool unattended several times a day. She seemed to think that when she turned 13 she would be able to go to the pool by herself. As if 2 years will make that much of a difference. And really, I'm sure everyone heard about the 2 girls in small town Oklahoma who were shot to death walking down the road? They were 11 and 13. I told her she's not going anywhere without an adult until she's at least 16. And even then I will probably think twice about it. I don't think we're strict at all.

And as far as the pool is concerned, I'm not even sure I'll take the kids to the pool this summer. It's horrible, and I feel like one of those crazy paranoid parents... but seriously - did you see the segment on the Today Show about kids being killed by pool drains?

All of that is a touch off the sass topic, but then again... us not letting her do stuff causes some of the sass...

Anyone got any good suggestions for taming the sass beast??


Suzie said...

Im dealing with three year old sass myself and I am lost. I do think that they save this lovely behavior just for their wonderful moms though. From all the spying Ive done they seem to be little angles with all other adults. Arent we lucky

Jenn said...

I have a 15 year old girl and a soon to be 13 year old girl. I think it's the age and I hope someday before I'm 80 they grow out of it! My girls are good girls and don't get in trouble at school either but I find they are sassy to me and when I say don't talk to me like that I don't deserve it I'm very good to you or Do you talk to your teacher like that when they tell you to do something. I usually get no, so I say well why do it to me...answer ...I don't know! Maybe they really don't know . So I can't really help you either other then to say good luck and you are not alone and don't you just love the sighs and eye rolling !

Missy said...

I can hardly control my darling 3 year old sassy attitude, and I am dreading how it will be in another 10 years. I imagine I will be a lot like you - probably more strict with more rules than her friends, it seems it is already that way.

Laura said...

Several things that have helped in our house....

-We don't put up with it. The more they sass, the more priviledges get taken away.

-We're good friends with a LOT of homeschoolers. My kids KNOW that we're NOT strict because they have seen a LOT of REALLY strict parents. (and I should note that we homeschooled for a couple of years - I am by NO MEANS against homeschooling.)

-We have made sure that they know that activities like going out are a PRIVILEDGE...and that we have NO PROBLEM removing the priviledge if they are abusive of them or disrespectful to us.

(We have 6 kids, ages 4,6,8,10,12 and 14)

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